The kids had their Valentines' Day party at school on Friday. Martha would have totally kicked my arse for sending Grand Slam to school with this piece of sh*t to corral his valentines.
I would have explained to her that we got 20.5 feet of snow over the past week and I couldn't make it to Michael's for the proper supplies.
After putting me in a headlock, and sending a swift upper cut to my jaw, she would launch into the fact that SHE has pulp drying in her basement kiln ready at all times to be adorned with her glitterati and homemade candies and what not. (see her craft room to follow...)
And when I tell her, while wincing in pain, that it was 7:30 PM on a bath night when I handed Slammers the brown paper sack and some stickers, she would kick me sharply in the gut with her black-soled Loutboutins and insist that I learn how to make a Valentine's scherenschnitte.
I know...I hang my head in craft shame.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.